Canadian? Yes, Please!
by apelilly
Summary: With a side order of awesome!


Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

* * *

"We've got the Monarchy, you know."

Alfred gave a snort, pushing his glasses up his nose, "Monarchy, shmonarchy. No one is impressed by something that appears on _postage stamps_."

There were a few laughs around the table as Arthur glared. Encouraged, the blond continued with a smirk, "Besides, we all know that it's the money that counts. And the US has got it."

"Speaking of money," said the dignified and accented voice to Alfred's left, "I see your one thousand and re-raise you three thousand." Francis placed his chips in he center of the table, clearly pleased with his hand though the others had a feeling he was bluffing. The Frenchman was notorious for it. "_Imbécile_." He said, "The only thing impressive about money is what one _buys_ with it."

The American snorted louder this time, "Oh really? And what would one buy with all of my money…if they had it?"

"Wine and cheese, of course. What else could be more refined than that?"

"Koalas."

Francis gave a scandalized gasp as the occupants of the table broke out in laughter. "_Je vous demande pardon?_"

Steve gave a helpless shrug and tipped his hat lower. The Australian contemplated his hand before raising another three thousand. "What? I think they are."

"Well," the Frenchman replied in a clipped tone, "I suppose you are entitled to your own opinion, however wrong it may be."

"Oi! Watch it, mate." Steve scowled, "Just because I'd rather hang around with animals instead of getting fat—"

"Gentlemen, please." Arthur cut in with a sigh. It was best to stop the argument before anything became of it. The last time someone had implied that Francis had "gained a few pounds" or was "looking jolly, if you get my drift", the other countries had been plagued by what they now referred to as the _Quebec Syndrome_ where Francis was prone to start throwing dishes and silverware at their heads much like his granddaughter, Beccie.

Now they knew where she had inherited the awful trait from.

Shaking his head, Arthur looked across the table to Heracles, "Your move."

Green eyes studied his hand, the growing pot, and the faces of his opponents seriously and carefully for several moments before Heracles shrugged lazily, putting his cards face down. "I fold." He said simply, leaning back in his chair. His gaze moved to Steve and he smiled, "As refined as you think koalas are, it is my belief that they could not top Socrates."

"The philosopher?" Steve questioned.

"Yes. One of the founders of Western Philosophy."

Steve grinned, "Got me beat there."

Alfred rolled his eyes though he still smiled at Heracles, "As amazing as he is and I thank him greatly for the Socratic Method, money is still the most important and useful thing." The blond eyed the pot hungrily, "I also plan on walking away with a lot of it."

From his place beside Heracles, Yao frowned at his hand and placed it on the table in a similar fashion as the country before him, stating that it had been easier to build the Great Wall than it had been to receive decent cards for the poker game.

Francis laughed, glad that another challenger had left the game and given him a better chance, but couldn't help teasing just a little bit, "Going on about your wall again, Yao? You talk about it almost as much as Steven talks about his _petite_ bears."

"They aren't bears!" Steve protested.

Yao fiddled with the end of his ponytail, ignoring the hostility. "If you'd rather I switched places with Ken so he can 'go on' about his safaris instead, then I will gladly do so."

The other countries grimaced, opting to keep silent. While the wildlife in Kenya was superb and visiting the country would be incomplete without a safari, they all agreed that there were only so many times you could go on one before the novelty wore off. Yao gave them a smug look, "That's what I thought."

Arthur sighed, "No more safaris for a while. Now, back to what I was saying about the Monarchy…"

"You guys." Alfred interrupted, giving them all a pointed look, "Money."

Francis waved his hand in a careless manner, "_Vins et fromages est magnifique_."

"Koalas chill with the Aussies. What more do I have to say?"

"Something meaningful, perhaps. Like oh, I don't know…Socrates?"

"The Great Wall is older than all of you combined."

Suddenly, to the surprise of the six countries present, a chip was thrown into the middle of the table from in between Arthur and Yao. All eyes shifted to stare at the culprit, widening when they realized who it was.

"Canada has got the world monopoly on trees and is bordered by three different seas. We invented the zipper and made insulin. Our mounted police have really hot uniforms, you don't have to pay any hospital fees, and we've got the largest supply of fresh water on hand. We've got beavers, caribou, moose, buffalo, bears, and the Canadian goose. I know, I'm sorry about Celine Dion, I've said that multiple times. Though you have to admit that the song she did for James Cameron was really good." Matthew took a breath, glad he had gotten all of what he wanted to say out in the open before they could ignore him again. "Oh, and I call."

Showing his cards, it was revealed that the blond Canadian had acquired a royal flush. He grinned at the others, gathering the chips into a pile while they watched, speechless. When he was done, Matt patted Kumajiro on the head, "You must be good luck!"

"Who?" was the polar bear's only reply.

With a soft sigh, Matt looked up at the others with a hopeful smile, "Want to play again?"

Alfred was the first to recover, "I didn't even know he was here!"

Steve shook his head in disbelief though he was grinning broadly, "Next time, mate, you have to leave the bear at home."

* * *

The Monarch appears on postage stamps, coins, and banknotes. Wiki said so!

_Imbécile_ – Silly/Stupid/Etc.

_Je vous demande pardon? _– I beg your pardon?

_Petite_ – Small.

_Vins et fromages est magnifique._ – Wine and cheese is magnificent.

Socrates why you gotta be so smart? Wiki again. :D

So Koalas actually aren't bears. They are marsupials. The correct name for them is 'koalas'. Go figure.

Sooooo...I totally used Google Translate for the French...I am a horrible Canadian. D: Also, wiki gave me all I needed to know about everything else, except poker. That was my dad's knowledge. Though I don't think I fit it well into the story, but I only learned a couple of hours ago so go easy on me. Poker is so fun! D:

I don't know if they have a Kenya in Hetalia yet...so I just made his name Ken and I like to think he makes people go on safaris with him. A lot. :D Same with Steve. The idea was from the song, Canadian Please. You can find it on YouTube and it is the shit. It's been eating my brain. So yeah...why were they playing poker? I DON'T KNOW BUT IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME! I FOUND I REALLY WANT TO RESEARCH KOALAS MORE...

I AM (A HORRIBLE) CANADIAN! D:


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